Five years ago today I woke up, got dressed, went to work, went out to dinner, had one too many for a Monday night and went to bed. All without knowing that my daughter had been born at 11:24 that morning. I found that out three days later.
One random phone call and my life did an about face.
You would think that I would have been somewhat prepared, but I wasn't. My inherent defence mechanism of self preservation forced me to accept that I would never be a mom. Being on the list to adopt made no diffence. It was the only way that I could get through my life, day by day, without succumbing to the black hole of infertility.
As I reflect on the past five years I can't help but think of all the ups and downs we have in life. Parenting my daughter has been a challenge, full of wonder, tears of pain, joy and heart stopping love. One hopes to always learn from and never to repeat mistakes made. A pipe dream for the most part I think. I can only now appreciate how much my parents did for me and the struggles they faced.
One day, when my daughter is much older, I will try to explain all this to her with the full knowledge that she will not understand any of it until she is a mom.
But for today, I will hold her, tell her how much she is loved and wish her Happy 5th Birthday!
Mia, the day you came to me was the best day of my life. No words can describe how blessed I feel to be your mom.
Always-
